Recently, my now fiancé and I got engaged. It was a dream. And the whirlwind that happened between us meeting in January 2021, starting to date in March, and getting engaged in November, has felt like it was straight out of a storybook. The high’s and the low’s (because trust us there have been some).
This period of time has allowed for a lot of reflection for both of us, and looking back together at the several years leading up to this relationship, has allowed us to make sense of why we met each other when we did.
Manifestation has become a buzzword of sorts, making people seem like they constantly need to DO something and THINK certain things so that the Universe responds. But it’s really much more simple. All it is referring too is our way of being. Everyday, we are BEING a certain way. We are always emitting different energies at different frequencies that thereby attract opportunities and events back to us. Our internal state frames the way we see the world and what comes into our life. So when the title says “Manifesting Love & Relationships” what it means, is how can you BE a certain way to attract true love to you.
If this seems confusing, don’t worry. I’m about to give you the three most pivotal things I did to manifest the love of my dreams. And trust me, they aren’t anything you can’t do.
1. Figure out what feeling you are searching for from having a relationship, and give that feeling to yourself now.
We only desire things outside of ourselves because we think they will make us FEEL a certain way when we obtain them. We are all walking around craving a feeling rather than an actual item. In a passionate relationship (bc we are NOT talking about subpar anything here…), many are looking to feel loved and whole. Because we are craving it, it means we are living with a lack of love in our life. But lack energy is NOT the type of energy that calls in soul-fulfilling relationships. We need to reverse engineer the situation. We need to find a way to consistently give ourselves the feelings of love and wholeness when we are alone.This is NOT a new concept, but it has gotten so misconstrued in the media recently with people just talking about all the things you can do to show self-love. But do-ing doesn’t promise us the feelings we are looking for. We need to tap into our internal states and create those feelings for ourselves.
2. Gain a different kind of clarity.
I want to make something really clear on this one… you do not NEED to date many other people in order to have clarity in what you want in your future partner. We like to use that as a reason to date sub par partners, and stay in relationships we know aren’t good enough for us… because deep down we are all afraid of being alone. If your dating experience isn’t that large, don’t worry too much. Clarity comes from within. And when I say clarity, I’m talking about clarity on questions like these:
How do you want your future partner to treat you?
What type of personality do you want them to have?
How do they work through challenging things?
What do they value?
A lot of times we get stuck on physical things (I have a journal entry from freshman year of college that literally says I want someone 6’ with abs and brown hair lol), but I’m here to break it to you that the physical things aren’t going to create the spark you need. You need to go a level deeper, because clarity is what creates your standards, and creating them is the easiest part.
When it comes down to it, relationships are hard and scary. In the last 8 months, I’ve put myself out on a limb with the parts of my soul that I’ve bared, more times than ever before. And that’s part of the reason this relationship took off so quickly - we were willing to do hard things, and both of us had the desire and maturity to work through them and use them as opportunities to better understand each other. I got so clear on the values and internal drivers I wanted my partner to have WAY before I even met him, then I exercised them with each date I went on, no matter how much I wanted to say “f*** it” and just go on the second one, or go home with him for temporary pleasure anyways. This clarity allowed me to hold onto my standards and honor them, even when I just wanted to force it to work so badly.
3. Ask yourself: “What would I do, if I knew the person of my dreams already existed?” (bc he does 😉)
This question is pivotal. If you are already creating that feelings of love and worthiness for yourself, then you need to believe that the right person is out there for you and you can wait for him. SO act like it. What would you do if you knew the right person for you was already out there living their life. For me, I decided I would pray every night. I grew up saying brief prayers in my head before bed every night, saying thank you and asking God, (the universe, my guides, ____ insert your greater being here), to take care of each person in my life. 6 months before I met my fiancé, I started including him in these prayers. I still had a lot of work to do in loving myself, but I stayed committed - not realizing the ripple effect it would have. This prayer helped me develop my certainty that he was out there, which changed how I went about living my day to day life.
Your action might be different, maybe you would dress differently, take better care of your health, or start doing the deep inner work you’ve been putting off. Let this question be your guide to that, and journal on it for a few moments today.
Copyright © 2023